cool runnings vs cool as ice

A couple days ago I had to do a presentation for my Sociology 316 (Class and Inequality) class. I was grossly unprepared, and had spent the previous couple days doing nothing but writing papers, not getting any sleep and existing in a constant state of stress.

During the presentation I had a freak-out. A panic attack. Anxiety to the max. I lost my shit, mumbled a bunch, started sweating, wanted to cry, and started edging towards the door to make a clean break (but didn't, thankfully - boy would that have been awkward!).

This was me, as played by the kid in the red shirt:




In contrast, I co-facilitated a workshop on dumpster diving yesterday as part of the "Confronting the Food Crisis: Cultivating Just Alternatives to the Corporate Food System" that the Community Alliance For Global Justice put on. It went incredibly well. About 40-50 people showed up - it was a fairly multi-generational group, somewhat diverse, and the discussion was lively and respectful. We talked about some oft-neglected topics that people who dumpster don't usually discuss, and we also went into some dumpster tactics. I'm really happy with how it turned out, and I got paid too (which is nice, considering the time, labor, and costs I put into writing and making a dumpster-diving zine the day before). And you know what? No panic attack, no freak out, no nervousness or shakiness of my voice. Totally chill. Then again, I wasn't being graded for the conference, and I had a way better grasp of the content (you know, me being an expert and all, hah).